Thursday, October 11, 2012

Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness



Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.


Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:
  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

If you're unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

How do I reach a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:
  • Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
  • Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
  • When you're ready, actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you
  • Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.



http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131

Monday, October 8, 2012

WE LOVE PAIN: The Bakun Trio of Kabunian, Tenglawan and Lobo.



WE LOVE PAIN: The Bakun Trio of Kabunian, Tenglawan and Lubo.

Life has been full of “first time" ever since I joined MMS, which was exactly what I needed at that point in my Life. I thought of something challenging but definitely satisfying at heart. After climbing Mt. Banahaw, I thought I couldn't handle any more of it but my heart knows it’s not true hehe .After four, busy, weekend-filled MMS months, here we are finally on our Second Major Climb: The famous BAKUN TRIO.


 Three days of climbing and the backbreaking rides there felt difficult to pull through. SCARY? Hell Yeah. Impossible? Hell No. Pressure? No Comment. With Sir Long Henson himself and Sir Tristan finally on a Climb is indeed Pressure along with thrice the headcount of the members over us trainees is again another Pressure. Originally we were supposed to meet up at Cubao Victory Liner but due to circumstances we can't avoid we ended up meeting up at Victory Liner Pasay (which is just 15 minutes away from me, I know the bus almost left me still haha). At 9:15 the Bus left Pasay Victory Liner Terminal but someone is missing according to TL Siege, well, where’s Jeff Dalia? Well yeah, he just woke up. Ha-ha good thing he lives somewhere north so the Bus can pick him up along the way with all the Chowking Express takeout orders by the Members. After 6-7 hours , at 4am, finally on my second time in Baguio (yeah, poor me, only second time) but this time around, it wasn't just a regular Baguio vacation, it was a Climb, not just one but three: the TRIO of Kabunian, Tenglawan and Lobo. Honestly, I was bracing for the worst physical experience.  We headed to Andok's for our Last minute take out for Packed Breakfast and Lunch, last minute Bio Break ( wee wee and poo poo break), and Last minute Back out hahaha ( joke), then we are ready to go. For first time Benguet travelers like me, I can't help but fall in love with what my eyes was offering me while travelling then To Bakun, the view along the way was just breathtaking. I was anxious trying my best to fit my head first in the medium sized jeepney window just for my eyes to witness the beauty of the said Province.  It gave me a peek preview of what our destination has to offer.  After an hour and half drive, we arrived at Philippine Highway System's Highest Point at 7400 ft, some of us ate breakfast and the rest took their signature poses, solo and group pics at the said Highest Point. After another hour Drive, finally at Bakun, we stopped for final shopping of food, toiletries, trail foods, fruits and Liquor.  When we turned left, we thought Brgy, Poblacion was just then a blink away, never thought it would be a million blinks away. I don't know how to drive, but I wouldn't drive a car there if I will be given a chance. Ha-ha. I and Elaine were toying around of tying ourselves up with prussic rope so that we won't be thrown around the jeepney while going through the road. It was indeed a long ride from the highway to the said Barangay, endless I would say. It was difficult to steal a sleep, coz the ride felt like even more than a roller coaster.

Finally, at around 11am, Brgy. Poblacion Municipal hall revealed itself to its transients. It is surrounded with high mountains and majestic waterfalls from afar. From the Municipal Hall, Mt Tenglawan and Mt Lobo are visible, but Mt Kabunian the first mountain to conquer is hiding behind a facade.




Knowing Sir Mark, he was all around the Hall reminding us the essentials for the climb of the day. I was more than excited for this mountain, not bad for an 8-10 hours trek. After an hour from arrival, we decided to start climbing after a prayer for a safe ascend and descend at night. 

Day 1: Mt Kabunian

With no Guide, we started finding the bridge connecting to the other side. Funny for it was 3 years ago since the last MMS Bakun Trio Climb, pathways has been changed, renovations has been done, reconstructions has been built, in short we got lost at first. Haha Thanks to the wonderful people of the said barangay where we finally found the right trail going to the said bridge. Instead of the anticipated assault, we were welcomed with a hundred of cemented stairs steps descend. Then there the first metal hanging bridge built by locals, just like the famous bridge in Mt Ugu. But for first time crossers of the said bridge, my knees were trembling, confused of where to step since there were holes on where you will have to step in. I am not afraid that the bridge will fall, I am afraid of falling from the bridge. I called Superman and all the superheroes I have ever known for help, but instead I saw Sir Tristan jumping like a kid on the bridge so obviously it swayed hard from left to right. Hehe After gaining back elevation, I noticed that the trails were established and water source is available several minutes from the start of ascend. Scenic view of Bakun's high Mountains and dramatic waterfalls is visible on your right that stretch along the local dam. Before passing the second hanging bridge, just before an assault, history of Mt Kabunian is revealed in an engraved arc that explains the divinity of the place, where we saw Sir long, Mam Beth, Mam Oyie and Mam Yeahbah from afar. The views here going on forward is breathtakingly panoramic. We were blessed with a good weather for us to witness how beautiful the creation of our Almighty Father is. I and Elaine had to stop for a moment to feel that the reality of the scenery before us. It was just impressive, so I thought this is what they were talking about. Beautiful. As we approached the summit, there were several wooden coffins that rest along the side of the mountain's wall. Holy indeed. Sacred. Hundred of meters away from the summit, a fork is at sight that can confuse first time hikers , the western trail brings you a fake summit that goes to Ilocos. After a couple of meters north and an easy assault finally is the Summit. Although with no clearing it was still just like I mentioned satisfying at heart. Everyone was hungry. Then of course the endless picture taking, of the fearless 5 Dose, and Members. Unexpectedly, the Holy Mountain literally blessed us with Rain. Color coded Poncho and Raincoats were visible along the trail while descending. Rc even jokingly called each poncho with the same color of Blue and Yellow as Classmates and the rest of the odd colors as transferees just like how it was in Elementary years.  Slowly but surely as they say when descending, aside from the fact that the trail turned so much slippery to descend than to ascend because of the rain, it was then getting dark. Of course, part of being a responsible mountaineer is to be always ready, headlamps and batteries. Our trek going down is smooth and scary. We were always extra careful not to be overconfident with the trails. At the last hour of the trek back we saw the cemented stairs that we went down hours earlier that this time will have to ascend.  The stairs looked easy but it was tiring, it became the hardest leg exercise for that day and drained most of us to the final way back home.  
Wn also got lost within the community while finding back the Municipal Hall, with the endless pathways. We don’t have any locals to ask from, since obviously they’re already sleeping at  quarter to eight in the evening.  Good thing,  a smiling, kind hearted old woman that we came across with accompanied us back to the hall. This mountain unravel a lot of personalities  that day, we discovered who despite the Image of a smart strong man is so much afraid of dogs,  a career dentist who walked  barefooted stepped on a fresh big  S**t (stool) on her way back home but still manage to laugh her ass out about it.